May 9, 2008

11 Tips getting Over Your Ex!

Your sweetie ended it, that heartless girl/boy. Now your future is in shambles. You feel the need to panic and beg for her back. You'll do anything to make things right.

But no matter how you try, you can't get back to that little spot of sunlight where you were so comfortable and safe.

There's only one thing left for you to do: Forget her/him. I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but with this tips, you'll forget that girl/boy and pick up the pieces of your shattered heart -- and man/woman hood -- in no time.

1- Take her/him off that pedestal

Don't idolize her/him and build her/him up into something great. She/He is nothing of the sort. So don't gaze lovingly at pictures of her/him. Don't jump to answer her/his e-mail or phone calls. And definitely don't go out of your way for her/him. She/he no longer deserves preferential treatment.

2- Get closure

It's essential to definitively end any hopes of reconciliation between the two of you. And if you can't get that into your head, she/he owes you the courtesy of it crystal clear. She/he needs to tell you: "I never loved you. I don't love you now. We'll never get back together." After some prodding, she/he'll probably do it, just to get rid of you. It provides what therapists call "closure." And you can begin to heal.

3- Don't contact her/him

After the relationship reaches finality, you have to break off contact or you will go mad. Don't beg or cry. Don't drunk-dial. Don't write her e-mail. Don't send packages or CDs. Don't dedicate a song to her/him on the radio. Get the picture? She/he will find you if she/he wants to. And even if you can talk your way back into her/his arms, it's only a temporary reprieve. She/he already knows you want her/him back, and she/he doesn't care. Take that as a sign.

4- Get negative feelings out on paper

Write her/him a letter pouring out your negative and weepy feelings, then disassociate them from yourself. Throw the letter away or burn it. But definitely don't send it to her/him. You will only regret it. She/he will show her/his friends and her/his new boyfriend/girlfriend. And they will all share a good laugh.

5- Avoid her/his friends & the places she/he hangs

Don't venture into her/his territory. You won't be welcome. Find new places to hang out for the first few months and make new friends, if necessary. If any of your friends insist on maintaining contact with her/him, you may have to shut them out, too -- at least temporarily. After some time has passed, you should go back to living normally, and that means hanging out at these places and reconnecting with mutual friends.

6- Throw away anything that reminds you of her/him

You don't have to burn it all, but definitely get pictures, gifts, clothing, letters, and e-mail out of your living area, or at least out of your line of vision. If that means giving away roughly half of your wardrobe to get rid of the memory of her/him, so be it. As a rule of thumb, if the object reminds u of ur ex discard it. This can save your sanity.

7- Don't try to get your stuff back

Unless it's a diamond ring or something that's one-of-a-kind, you're better off not contacting her/him to get it back. DVDs, clothes, your extra toothbrush... just let 'em go. They're only possessions. Is it really worth the pain of being in her/his presence just to reclaim a pair of boxer shorts or thongs? Don't exchange your dignity for menial belongings.

8- Hang out with your friends

Let your buddies give you a reality check on how your ex wasn't all that to begin with, and that there are more fish in the sea. A little male/female camaraderie can go a long way towards getting your head straight. We've all been detonated by a woman/man before and most of us will likely get detonated again.

9- Exercise your newfound freedom

Freedom is always intoxicating. There's a world of activities you can partake in that you were never able to enjoy because your "other half" didn't approve. So indulge. Go to "The Mall". Build a sand man. Go hiking. Play video games on your computer. Watch TV all weekend. Do anything u want. Why not start boxing? Ideally, you want to find an activity that allows you to release your anger and alleviate stress.

10- Remember the bad times

If you feel nostalgic, then think of all the times she/he was a bitch/bastard to you. That should do it. Remember the time she/he made you wait endlessly to pick you up? Or the time she/he reminded you not too drink too much in front of your posse? Nobody wants that back.

11- Sleep with another girl/boy

Nothing reminds you that you are a man/woman quite like having a new woman/man in your bed. So take solace in the arms of another. Call it a rebound if you wish. Plenty of heartbroken guys/girls go this route and for a very good reason -- it makes you feel better, even if it's only temporary. So go out there and feel better about yourself!

Bonus Tips: Seduce somebody she's jealous of

Remember the hair stylist or the hot barmaid/tender your ex scolded you for looking at? Well, now's your chance to make a move that will pay off in more ways than just sex. Just think, if your ex finds out you've been fishing in familiar waters, it will drive her/him to the point of hysteria. This can be quite gratifying.

Yours Truly;
Jack Ass Author


MooMoo said...

As a woman I like the idea of this article but it's easier said then done believe me!! I'm going through the heartache of a break up myself - his doing because after 3 years together (2 of which we lived together) he was no longer ready for a relationship?? I still don't get it and to keep my own sanity can only put it down to his mental health as he also suffers depression which I was aware of and openly supported him through.. I recently made the decision to cut all contact after nothing but sheer nastiness and bringing me down every time I spoke with him when he called me - I'd done this prev and it was working a charm but then I stupidly took his calls as we were friends before we were lovers and I missed him - the nice him that I fell in love with not the nasty side that I always get!

bruverhoodofmen said...

Also, I'd just like to say, to the benefit of women, that I don't really buy all this "all women are bit*hes" "women will f* us over" etc etc. I'm sure that women take the hit just as hard as us men, it's just they deal with it in different ways. Women do it the RIGHT way, they try their best to move one, whereas we men pine the loss. I think this is because men are supposed to keep their women, keep them from other men, but when they break up with us we have lost them, so our worth as a man seems reduced. This is WRONG, we need to move on with our lives, we need to take the time for us to heal. There's no point in taking it out on the woman, you once loved her remember, instead focus on getting your own life back together. Forget about her.

Anonymous said...

oh, also meeting new woman is a MUST! There is no better way to get over a woman then to meet someone new to replace those old memories, to help you get over the past sooner. Also, for the young guys.. Remember these words a wise man once told me "Sure I love you honey, what was your name again?"

Anonymous said...

eeee....napa ia banyak laki2 emosi n mental ani hwahwahwa...mcm tah durang saja yg sakit kali kalau kana tgl kan...sama jua laki2 kaliah...

AntiLove said...

you all pathetic wonder ur ex gf or bf left you hahaha

AntiLoveUrABastard said...

AntiLove: seems to me you are more a bastard to me!

HeartbrokenTiger said...

-bruverhoodofman- i must say i totally agree with you..

Anonymous said...

lau nda mau awas punya blog ani ku ambil ;p